Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
