therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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