We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
