Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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