I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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