I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
