1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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