I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
