You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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