I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
