Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
