I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Dicks are not precious.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
