Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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