Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I wish my penis had an off switch

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  (586): I wish my penis had an off switch http://tfl.nu/bdrc
  Replies (5) Good night (612) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  my text book just quoted the cookie monster

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  (613): my text book just quoted the cookie monster http://tfl.nu/5m8t
  Replies (24) Good night (8224) Bad night (594) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  was that a mass text??

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  (804): Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing. (571): was that a mass text?? http://tfl.nu/0791
  Replies (60) Good night (10822) Bad night (2171)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.

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  (919): i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me. http://tfl.nu/ilti
  Replies (42) Good night (9987) Bad night (787)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me

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  (309): I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me http://tfl.nu/z5uh
  Replies (5) Good night (1116) Bad night (2443) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...

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  (978): Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested... http://tfl.nu/1qsg
  Replies (9) Good night (3907) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory

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  (252): He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory http://tfl.nu/jj42
  Replies (20) Good night (1088) Bad night (4484) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.

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  (508): Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/xgp0
  Replies (5) Good night (2203) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That bitch ruined vodka saturday

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  (651): That bitch ruined vodka saturday http://tfl.nu/2db3
  Replies (6) Good night (593) Bad night (1742) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?

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  (715): you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question? http://tfl.nu/kzcn
  Replies (11) Good night (1193) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter

  (214): View more from Texas

  Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.

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  (214): She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter (214): Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous. http://tfl.nu/a0w0
  Replies (4) Good night (1378) Bad night (439)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag

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  (905): today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag http://tfl.nu/a7zv
  Replies (5) Good night (1451) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy

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  (407): All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy http://tfl.nu/k1j3
  Replies (4) Good night (788) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.

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  (214): I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice. http://tfl.nu/9nit
  Replies (5) Good night (957) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home

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  (250): not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home http://tfl.nu/i7w6
  Replies (4) Good night (999) Bad night (246)

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