also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
