Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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