Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.