wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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