I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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