I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
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you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
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Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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