Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
