How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Are we still banned from the library?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
