they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
