she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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