Betty ford says i'm here all night
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Found your dick twin last night
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize