Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
