tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
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This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
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