So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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