does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
