are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
