Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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