This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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