I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think people are normalizing furries
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize