Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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