worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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