I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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