That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
