Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
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