just come out here and I will go home with you...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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