So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
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it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My breasts were aching with rage.
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I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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