we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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