non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
