if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
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