how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
