If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize