He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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