What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
