I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Randomize