when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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