I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
