he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
