i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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