Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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