I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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