3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
