It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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