Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he puts the penis in happiness.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
