Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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