kristin has been a bad kristin
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Sacagawea was the original milf.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
