marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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