In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Randomize
