he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
