I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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