He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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