Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
