Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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