I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
